Ep 99: Parenting UP! with J Smiles
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Ep 99: Parenting UP! with J Smiles
Episode 99: Show Notes
Caregiving is still a misunderstood and under-celebrated role in today's society. For this episode, we welcome J Smiles to talk about her amazing story of caring for her mother, launching a career in comedy, and how she managed to navigate these difficult terrains.
Soon after her father's passing, J Smiles’ mother was diagnosed with two forms of dementia, and it took a minute for her to realize that the deterioration she was seeing in her mother was not just grief.
The process surrounding her mother's diagnosis and treatment was a tricky one, and J Smiles generously opens up, sharing the biggest challenges and the lessons she learned through them.
She notably talks about how she began to talk differently about her role as her mother's caregiver, relinquishing the early methods involving avoidance and shock. J Smiles tells us all about becoming an advocate for caregiving, and what it means to normalize these conversations about sensitive topics.
This leads to our exploration of her work as a conscious comic and how she started this branch of her life as an escape before pouring her lived experience and authentic self into her routine.
Today our guest also has her own podcast, called Parenting UP!, in which she brings together all these areas and themes in a show that is truly her, so make sure to give that a listen, as soon as you finish with this great episode!
Key Points From This Episode:
J Smiles' evolving attitude towards talking about her life as a caregiver.
What it felt like to be confronted with her mother's onset of dementia.
How J Smiles started to reframe her questions and responses about caregiving and advocacy.
The mission to normalize conversations and perceptions about caregiving for Alzheimer's.
The two forms of dementia that J Smiles' mother was diagnosed with.
Differentiating between the terms 'dementia' and 'Alzheimer's'.
The first signs of J Smiles' mother's issues and how she realized it was reaching beyond grief.
Hurdles in the process of the diagnosis and the decision to go ahead with surgery.
The isolation that J Smiles felt when confronted with these big life decisions.
Resources that J Smiles drew on in order to learn about the basics of caregiving.
Reflecting on J Smiles' comedy journey and the evolution of her career and aspirations.
The surprising energy and love that comedy brought into her life!
How J Smiles' comedy routine started to embrace the reality of her life, after starting out as an escape.
The beginnings of J Smiles' podcast, and how she wove the threads of her life into one channel.
J Smiles talks about her relationship with sleep and the difficulties she has always experienced.
The emphasis that J Smiles has put on celebrating the role of the caregiver.
Where to find and connect with J Smiles online and in real life!
Advice from J Smiles to someone at the beginning of a caregiving journey.
Tweetables:
“My father had a massive heart attack. In less than six months, my mother was diagnosed with two forms of dementia. I did not have a lot of time to prepare. I didn’t see my mom start to dwindle.” — @JSmilesComedy [0:11:02]
“Once I chose to believe that dementia was happening in her body, then I felt like it was too heavy. The subject matter was too heavy to bring up in casual conversations with strangers who say, 'What do you do?'” — @JSmilesComedy [0:12:30]
“Alzheimer’s is the most expensive disease in America, nobody knows that. It costs more than diabetes, all the cancers and AIDS.” — @JSmilesComedy [0:18:17]
“It got to a point where who I am had to come out, because I became serious about being a comedian.” — @JSmilesComedy [0:52:39]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: