Ep 102: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying with Bronnie Ware
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Ep 102: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying with Bronnie Ware
Episode 102: Show Notes
We are re-visiting one of my favorite podcast episodes, which is my conversation with Bronnie Ware, the former palliative nurse from Australia who wrote the blog post, Top 5 Regrets of the Dying, which went viral and eventually went on to become a bestselling book.
Here are their top 5 regrets:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life that others expected of me.
I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
I wish that I had let myself be happier.
How she came to be a palliative care nurse was fascinating, as it was very much happenstance. In short, Bronnie was just nomading, and she needed a place to stay, and the woman who offered her room and board ended up passing away shortly after, and Bronnie was there to help with her transition. And that’s how she discovered her gift of presence.
Key Points From This Episode:
Bronnie talks about her childhood and her favorite activity, hanging out with her dog, Priny.
How Bronnie has communicated through writing, since writing to pen pals across the world.
Why Bronnie became a vegetarian after hearing animals die on her childhood farm.
Bronnie describes about her dad’s occupation as a musician and her relationship to his work.
What Bronnie wanted to be when she grew up and how she found her way to music herself.
Turning away from a path to self-destruction through drug abuse and a career in banking.
A bookstore called The Inspiration Factory and the role it played in Bronnie’s transformation.
Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain and how it helped Bronnie realize she’s creative.
Why Bronnie lied on her CV when she was desperate for work and why she would do it again.
Bronnie’s relationship with spirituality and experiencing the passing of one client, Stella.
What Bronnie learned about regret and anguish from a client of hers named Grace.
The gratitude journal that Bronnie was keeping at the time and how it informed her book.
Bronnie believes she was such a good palliative carer because she had a lot of love to give and she wasn’t sharing it elsewhere.
How Bronnie healed herself through fasting and visualization instead of a suggested surgery.
The story of Bronnie’s first album coming out and how she was guided by trust and intuition.
Bronnie felt closely aligned with her purpose when she was honoring her creative talents.
How Bronnie came to teach songwriting for healing in a women’s prison and how it taught her to look after herself in turn.
Bronnie talks candidly about her struggle with distress, depression, and suicidal thoughts.
What people can do to support those suffering from suicidal depression, and how Bronnie found sanctuary in meditation.
Starting Inspiration and Chai, writing the top five regrets of the dying blog post, and going on to publish her first book.
What Bronnie believes it was that made people feel so connected with the top five regrets.
Why Bronnie didn’t quit when her book was rejected – she knew no other way forward.
How Bronnie defines success, and what “smile and know” means in a practical sense.
Bronnie describes the courses she offers on her website, such as Write for Delight.
Tweetables:
“Good things take time and you can actually grow into your dreams. They're not just unattainable ideas that you have. You can achieve them, but you have to grow into them.” — Bronnie Ware [0:21:38]
“[Learning about regrets from a client] was the first time I’d seen firsthand, the pain and anguish of regrets on your deathbed and I thought, ‘I don't care how hard it's going to be to live the life that's true to my heart. It's never going to be as hard as getting to my deathbed with regrets.’ It gave me so much courage and still does, because I am not going to be in that position..” — Bronnie Ware [0:34:27]
“I was such a good carer, because I had a lot of love to give and I wasn't sharing it elsewhere. I felt safe with my patients, because, when you're at the end of your life, there's really not much time left for nonsense in conversation. All of our conversations were really deep and beautiful.” — Bronnie Ware [0:38:33]
“It's so easy to just want to fix people. I think that acceptance is probably the thing that actually was the greatest act of love that I received.” — Bronnie Ware [1:00:32]
“I found a niche where the world's consciousness was ready for it. I certainly didn't intend to. I just wrote what I knew, and that was what I knew. I think that it gave people permission to make changes, and so many positive changes in the world have been made as a result of the article and then the book, through people that have read it.” — Bronnie Ware [1:09:40]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The Top Five Regrets of the Dying