Ep 59: Sex With Emily with Dr. Emily Morse
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Sex With Emily with Dr. Emily Morse
Episode 59: Show Notes.
In today's episode, we hear from one of this generation’s foremost authorities on everyone's favorite topic: sex! Author, podcaster, and sexologist, Dr. Emily Morse has the longest-running sex-themed podcast on iTunes, starting Sex With Emily back in 2005 when the only people starting podcasts were tech geeks. Since then, Emily has covered literally every sexual topic you can think of, from Afro sexology to bondage, to whatever you're imagining right now; she's got an episode on that too! More recently, Emily Morse Teaches Sex and Communication has become one of the most popular courses on the Masterclass platform.
In this episode, you’ll get a glimpse into Emily’s backstory, from politics to documentary filmmaking, and find out how she became a sexologist when she realized that she could help a lot of people by spreading more real-world information about sex. Listening in, you’ll learn how the path to following her curiosity was fraught with financial struggles and family interventions, how Emily overcame those obstacles, and how she came out the other side of her dark tunnel as the world-renowned ‘sexpert' that she is today.
We also discuss some of the common myths surrounding sexuality, and how Emily defines a healthy sex life, particularly if one partner wants more sex than the other, which she says is actually more the norm than it is the exception. Tune in for a fascinating conversation about the power of following your curiosity!
Key Points From This Episode:
Emily shares her favorite activity as a child; playing with her Barbie dolls.
Hear about her upbringing and her experience with “the birds and the bees.”
Find out why Emily says she didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up.
How her concept of success shifted after her dad died at the age of 49.
What she learned about communication, making an impact, and how to get things done from her time in politics that later informed her path.
Learn about Emily’s next chapter as a documentary filmmaker and her drive to create.
The story of how she created See How They Run, her first documentary film.
How Sex With Emily started in 2005, following her own curiosity about her friends’ sex lives.
Hear the story of how Emily met Captain Erotica, thanks to her interest in Burning Man.
Some of the early success and validation Emily received from her podcast.
The financial challenges she encountered in 2009 when the global recession hit.
How she worked her way through those struggles by remaining committed to her vision.
Find out how she became involved in writing the book, Hot Sex.
Emily shares her perspective on competition and why she doesn’t worry too much about it.
How being known as a sexologist in her 30s affected her personal life.
Why Emily believes we bury our heads in the sand as a society when it comes to talking about sex; and how she is trying to change that.
The importance of including sex under the umbrella of health and wellness.
What Emily hopes the conversation about sex and relationships will look like years from now.
How she hopes to equip people with the adequate knowledge and language necessary to talk about sex openly.
The three main causes of divorce, sex, children, and money, and the value of communication.
Her advice for managing mismatched libidos or what Emily calls desire discrepancy.
The value in expanding our definition of sex to include other acts of intimacy.
What the experience of shooting a Masterclass was like for Emily: the responsibility to deliver.
How Emily defines success these days; spiritual, mental, physical, and emotional wellness.
Her thoughts on success in relationships and the importance of being authentic.
Tweetables:
“It was really important to me to do something that I was passionate about and that I loved doing and something that could have an impact in the world.” — @SexWithEmily [0:16:49]
“I learned how to communicate [from my time in politics], how to make change, how to be bold, how to be aggressive, how to get anything done.” — @SexWithEmily [0:22:29]
“There was so much to learn, so much to unpack. I read every sex book on the planet. I started going deep into podcasting. Every week, I released a podcast, and I interviewed people. That's where that all started.” — @SexWithEmily [0:33:38]
“I was trying to find my own answers. I wasn't a doctor of human sexuality. I hadn't studied. I was just curious, really curious, and wanted to help myself and others. I realized that so many people were in the same boat.” — @SexWithEmily [0:37:48]
“I'm not someone who looks behind me and I'm not competitive. I was so caught up in what I was doing that I wasn't really looking at who else was doing stuff or who was coming up behind me..” — @SexWithEmily [0:47:56]
“That's exactly what I'm trying to change – because we don't have any role models. We have no examples of people talking about sex in a healthy way. We have a lot of shame around it because, if sex does come up in a conversation, it's usually something negative.” — @SexWithEmily [0:52:06]
“It's an ever-evolving palette. It's an ever-evolving landscape, and there's so much to learn, that I welcome and I encourage people to look at sex as something that you get to embrace and decide what works for you and do your own research with your body.” — @SexWithEmily [0:59:42]
“Success for me is feeling spiritually, mentally, physically, emotionally well.” — @SexWithEmily [1:07:54]
“The relationship part of it is the part that I am really fascinated with right now. I'm doing my best to have success by being honest and truthful and authentic about what I want, and being okay if it's not what they want.” — @SexWithEmily [1:10:40]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode: